A Letter to My ‘Samantha’

We all have that one friend in life. The friend who you share your deepest, darkest secrets with. The one who you call when you can’t wait to share something. The one who shares a bed with you for sleepovers and will hold you when you cry. 

I lost mine years ago. As do most people when they reach adulthood. 

The name Samantha comes from the movie ‘Now and Then’. It was one of our favorites. She is Samantha and I, Teeny. We had gone through our fair share of ups and downs in life but one thing was for sure, we would ALWAYS have eachother. 

Samantha had the brains. She was amazing! IS amazing! I still look up to her in every way (through Facebook.) She has really made a life for herself and has adventures that anyone would love. She is still Samantha. 

I, on the other hand, chose a different life path. I got married super young, had children super young, I broke the pact we made. Ever since we were little, we knew we’d be at the same college, be dorm mates. That never happened. We did rekindle our friendship for a few nights that meant the world to me. She did come to my wedding. She tried. 

Our busy lifestyles have kept us apart and to be frank, we have no idea who the other is anymore. I would love to know this woman! So here it goes:

To my Samantha,

You were the best friend anyone could ask for. I miss our long chats at night after we’ve watched one of our favorite movies. You had so many favorites! Now and Then, Grease 2, and Dirty Dancing. I miss the girl who could get goofy with me in the car, singing our favorite songs without a care in the world. Remember YLD? How many amazing summers we had. Being mermaids at the local pool. We had the whole world! 

We were the ones who would be together forever. The ones who would possibly have kids that would be best friends. I’m sure some people are surprised when they hear we don’t talk anymore. 

Boys came in the picture and boy, did I screw up! Who knew one thing could tear us apart in such a way. You knew. You hated that one boyfriend and you tried to tell me how much trouble I was in for. You were so right. For this, I am forever sorry. 

I was the one who ruined our friendship, and I know that. I have dealt with it every. single. day. for so many years. I’ve missed you every single day and I hope you know that. 

We grew apart. You got your amazing college experience and now your amazing job. I am nothing but overjoyed for you because you’ve done what you want! There isn’t a day that I don’t think about what it would be like if we could grow back together, if we had never grown apart. 

No matter where life takes us I will be here. I am only a phone call away. We are snapchat friends, and I enjoy watching your stories. I know that you’d be there too. It’s just gotten to the point where it would be awkward, for both of us. 

Know that wherever you go in life, I love you. You gave me the ultimate gift of friendship that I play back through memories and daydreams. You are amazing! 

~Your Teeny

Introduction to my World

Let me start out by saying, HOLY COW!, I didn’t realize just how hard the blogging world could be. The first time I test drove this, it was almost like I had all of these things I wanted/needed to share and I ended up hitting road blocks. From what I have found, road blocks are totally normal and I should not have gotten discouraged.

I have grown so much in the last year as a person that at times it can be overwhelming to think about. The biggest thing that I have learned is that I LOVE doing hair. Any one who knows me knows that I only wanted to be a nurse my whole life. Who would have guessed that I look forward to doing hair every day!? I am so into make-up and fashion that it drives my husband crazy. What I wouldn’t give to dress the way I feel every single day! I’m not talking all designer stuff here, I love looking at boutiques online where the clothes are extremely reasonable. Unfortunately, spending any money on myself makes me feel guilty since I would rather it go to my kiddos. I have also grown in the sense that I have come to the understanding what true friendships and relationships with family mean. After an awful year last year filled with misfortune and death, I have realized what is really important in this day to day life.

More about me: Reading is really important to me. It still gives me a sense of wonder and imagination. Nicholas Sparks is by far my favorite author. I can read anything he writes within a couple days. The Secret is another guilty pleasure book of mine. I am very into inspiration and receiving what you give. The book is amazing and if you haven’t read it please just look into it.

Most important for last: I have two of the most amazing children on this planet. They are my everything (as they should be, right?) They motivate me to be a better person each and every day. My husband is my other rock. Sometimes, I know I am a bit of a handful in the sense that we don’t always see eye to eye, but he loves me unconditionally and shows it as much as he possibly can. He is a Veteran and my hero! (Please! When you see a Vet, thank them. You have no idea what they have been through and you could never imagine unless you’ve done it yourself.) Thanks for reading my Intro.

Much Love, Joc