A Letter to My ‘Samantha’

We all have that one friend in life. The friend who you share your deepest, darkest secrets with. The one who you call when you can’t wait to share something. The one who shares a bed with you for sleepovers and will hold you when you cry. 

I lost mine years ago. As do most people when they reach adulthood. 

The name Samantha comes from the movie ‘Now and Then’. It was one of our favorites. She is Samantha and I, Teeny. We had gone through our fair share of ups and downs in life but one thing was for sure, we would ALWAYS have eachother. 

Samantha had the brains. She was amazing! IS amazing! I still look up to her in every way (through Facebook.) She has really made a life for herself and has adventures that anyone would love. She is still Samantha. 

I, on the other hand, chose a different life path. I got married super young, had children super young, I broke the pact we made. Ever since we were little, we knew we’d be at the same college, be dorm mates. That never happened. We did rekindle our friendship for a few nights that meant the world to me. She did come to my wedding. She tried. 

Our busy lifestyles have kept us apart and to be frank, we have no idea who the other is anymore. I would love to know this woman! So here it goes:

To my Samantha,

You were the best friend anyone could ask for. I miss our long chats at night after we’ve watched one of our favorite movies. You had so many favorites! Now and Then, Grease 2, and Dirty Dancing. I miss the girl who could get goofy with me in the car, singing our favorite songs without a care in the world. Remember YLD? How many amazing summers we had. Being mermaids at the local pool. We had the whole world! 

We were the ones who would be together forever. The ones who would possibly have kids that would be best friends. I’m sure some people are surprised when they hear we don’t talk anymore. 

Boys came in the picture and boy, did I screw up! Who knew one thing could tear us apart in such a way. You knew. You hated that one boyfriend and you tried to tell me how much trouble I was in for. You were so right. For this, I am forever sorry. 

I was the one who ruined our friendship, and I know that. I have dealt with it every. single. day. for so many years. I’ve missed you every single day and I hope you know that. 

We grew apart. You got your amazing college experience and now your amazing job. I am nothing but overjoyed for you because you’ve done what you want! There isn’t a day that I don’t think about what it would be like if we could grow back together, if we had never grown apart. 

No matter where life takes us I will be here. I am only a phone call away. We are snapchat friends, and I enjoy watching your stories. I know that you’d be there too. It’s just gotten to the point where it would be awkward, for both of us. 

Know that wherever you go in life, I love you. You gave me the ultimate gift of friendship that I play back through memories and daydreams. You are amazing! 

~Your Teeny